It's All About Cycles

Dear Baby,

Everything has ups and downs. Life is no exception.

For example, at work recently, I have been going through some lows. It's very frustrating when you are trying to work hard and help people out and all they do is put their guard up. It's a bit like running up a really fast downward escalator. Today, there seemed to be a bit of a rebound though. I talked to a group of people and they seemed much more receptive in listening to what I had to say. You have to stick it out through those downs in order to make it to the next up.

Writing about this got me thinking about my lowest lows and my highest highs in life. The lowest lows are hard to go back and think about...but they are important to remember. The highest highs are a lot more easy.

I would have to say that my lowest low was when I was 13 or 14 years old. Your teenage years can be fun, but they can be tough too. Your Grandma and Opa split up when I was 11. I didn't see it coming at all and it hit me like a ton of bricks. When I was 13 or so, I was living with your Opa and Nana Lynn. I was also living with your uncle Paul, uncle Rob and aunt Andrea. I became really depressed. I was so depressed that I began to wonder what I had left to live for. For a couple of months, I thought about ending my own life every day. I still don't know what really shook me out of it. Obviously now, I understand all of the great things to live for in life, but when you are a young and confused teenager, it is hard to see past the darkness when it surrounds you.

I think that most teenagers go through tough periods like that. If you find yourself feeling that way, I hope you know that your mom and I are going to be here for you. We can help you go through those dark tunnels and we will enjoy seeing you come out even stronger on the other side.

As for my high points...those were much more recent. The first one has to be marrying your mom. Never did I think that such a great woman would subject herself to my harassment for a lifetime! The next was seeing your heartbeat for the first time. You won't understand that one until you have a child of your own.

I can't wait to replace those old highs with a new one. All of the anticipation and excitement of your arrival is great, but when I get to hold you in my arms for the first time....I'll be able to look down on Mt. Everest.

Your mom is sleeping, as usual for this time of night (10pm), so hopefully you are enjoying a restful sleep too.

Love, Dad.